Newton's Cradle

Patricia, my Virtual Hamster of Love and Destruction

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

My Novel Failed. Now I'm Here.

My life is over. My blog is beginning.

I'm sitting by my computer. My schizophrenic, sometimes loving, mostly bitter friend
---> <---
is speaking with me over Skype. It's an evening like any other, until one fatal decision. I set my sights on world domination.
Its not like it sounds. Really we were just going to set up Twitter accounts. But in my mind's eye I saw the future, how my Tweets would become immensely popular, how incredibly famous I would become, eventually being appointed leader of the UN. Fast forward three years and we have a beautiful, grey, dystopic landscape and a lot of irate people wearing mandatory luminescent pink jumpsuits.

Obviously this plan failed. A bit like the aforementioned novel, but that's for a different post.

And its not anyone's fault, except for the horribly evil Twitter sign-up page.

It threw me. How do I want to be remembered? How do I want people to see me? How do I sum that up that up in 16 characters?

The tiny Twitter bird was laughing at me. I could tell.

Just staring into those cold, unloving eyes gave me the shivers.

But life goes on and I try to think of a way to fit my personality into that tiny box. After debating whether or not Twitter would suit, we decided its posting space wasn't big enough. If you're going to bare all to randomers on the internet, you at least need enough space to type out every little detail. Or a very high definition webcam and a very small pair of panties.

Apart from prostitution, this was the answer,. A blog! A place to type my thoughts and opinions. To rant about whatever takes my fancy. So I welcome you to the inner workings of my mind. Would you like a slice of the C.A.K.E.?

I just realised how corny that sounded :/

Apologizing for the lack of pictures, (still getting used to this), and sending my love to all who comment,
You're faithful Blogger in the Sky, Stephen

1 comment:

  1. I love your writing "voice" Stephen.

    Mmmm....a word of advice. Don't take blogging too seriously. You have to enjoy it above everything else. Don't get bogged down by the stats and comments. I know it's easier said than done but trust me your readers will come to your site because they like what they "see."

    That said, I think your blog is Awesome!


All comments help feed the War Machine!