Newton's Cradle

Patricia, my Virtual Hamster of Love and Destruction

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Withholding Christmas Presents

It's that time of year again. Putting up the (real) tree, using the good decorations, the good cutlery, which is entirely pointless because the lights will be down so low due to the overdose of candles, and you won't see any of it. Even the serial rapist hiding in the shadows over there can't distinguish you from some sort of overly bloated amorphous gummy bear.

But I digress! The most important thing this year is not darkened rooms with colourful lights! Its not family or friends or love! Its the presents and gifts that they bear. Even Jesus himself got Gold, Frankincense & Myrrh from three elderly men in exchange for letting them watch him sleep.

But sadly, over time, this noble practise of self promotion through kindness has been polluted. How you may ask?

People see fit to wait until Christmas Day to start enjoying their presents.

This might be ok in a household where a child still believes in the Master of breaking and entering ie: Santa Claus. But in a home where you know what your getting for Christmas, where your present is and depending on the size of your family, you were probably with them when they purchased it for you.

So why wait until Christmas Day?

My guess is that some people just enjoy the "magic" of the day, or some people believe that the "Sanctity of Christmas" must be preserved. I didn't realise the anniversary of our saviours birth was preserved by self inflicted torture, but perhaps I missed a meeting.

If you are a reader who celebrates Christmas, look over at your Christmas tree and the presents underneath. If you don't celebrate the holiday, I have, in my infinite kindess, provided a picture for the next exercise. But before that, isn't this the best Christmas tree EVER?

Despite the fact that this undermines the next few paragraphs, I could live without a present if I had that thing in my living room.
I think I'm in love O.o


Focus on that present. Doesn't it look so good? Don't you want to open it? Just a peak? Come on....

Why should you have to wait for Christmas? Why?
Your present is waiting.


You have to wait until Christmas Day I'm afraid my dear readers, because of tradition. Grace McGarvie, whoever that is, once said "Tradition is an explanation for acting without thinking"

Whoever this Grace was, she was a smart girl. I've a feeling things worked out well for her. However due to a lack of a Wikipedia page, I have come to the conclusion she failed in her acting career, turned to drugs and eventually ended up face down in a gutter on Broadway.

Can't win 'em all :/


  1. I find you so offensivly brilliant (if that makes sense xP ). You brighten up my evening and life xx <3 Luv U !!!

  2. Wow. I've only started in the world of bloggerness, as I am 14 also. I love your way of talking about things, whilst I ramble on and on about random things. :) :3

  3. oh. and i most definetly love newtons cradle. it makes me happy and warm inside.

  4. So, you're pretty much my favorite 14-year-old ever.

    Granted, you have no competition whatsoever. Except for 14-year-old me, who was a stoner floosie. But, still. This was enjoyable and I will be back.

  5. hi there. saw your comment on mummytime's blog and figured id pop over for a look.

    your so lucky - when i first posting i had zero comments til like my fourth or fifth maybe even tenth post!

    dont stress too much - your followers grow..eventually.

    enjoy christmas :)

  6. impressive. you've got a follower in me.

  7. Steve!!! Comments and followers! You da man, Mummy Times obviously worked :P

  8. Wow, you're only 14, much younger than when I first started! I started when I was 15! And you have good grammar too, you've got potential being an Active Blogger!

    I really like your closing part too, haha! The way you put it was very witty but I sympathize with that Gracie girl! I have to agree with what she said, though!

    Looking forward to reading more of your posts and your comments. Throw a comment right at me! Haha!

    Much Love and Merry Christmas,


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